My Gym: Dealing with Party Tantrums

Children's birthday parties are always potentially fraught. The child whose birthday it is will often have been excited for days, not sleeping properly and building up expectations of the big day which it's simply impossible to satisfy.

Meanwhile, guests may find it difficult to spend a whole afternoon or evening focusing on somebody else, and may start to get jealous of the attention the birthday child is receiving. Combine this with high-energy activities, social pressure and an excess of sugary foods, and it's a wonder everybody doesn't lose it.

It's rare to get through a children's birthday party without somebody throwing a tantrum, so you should always do what you can to prepare for it in advance. The first and most important thing is to isolate the unhappy child from the others. You don't want that unhappiness spreading. You also don't want other children seeing the difficult child get attention - it sets a bad example and makes them feel as if they're losing out on account of being good.

Set aside a quiet room and take the unhappy child there. It's a good idea to have some calming things in this room - bears to hug, perhaps, and provision for quiet activities like reading or drawing. Make sure there's a comfortable place to lie down with a pillow and a blanket, so that the child can have a nap if they need one. Don't insist that they try to sleep - they'll deny that they're tired - but offer them the option.

It's important to make a child throwing a tantrum feel that you're concerned for them without making them feel rewarded. Don't shy away from being patronizing in your approach - be kind to them, but treat them as you would a younger child, so that they know the impression they've made on you is one of being babyish.

Place the responsibility firmly on them to behave themselves better if they want to be respected, and make t clear that rejoining the fun of the party depends on good behavior. Many children will only need a bit of space in which to calm down before they understand that this is true.

Don't forget, birthday parties are tiring for everyone, so give yourself the opportunity to take breaks, too. You don't want to end up feeling like you're about to throw a tantrum yourself!

Labels: activities, birthday, fun, kids, parties, party